Why are Evergreen Students so Damn Stupid?

Current Music: James Taylor – Hourglass – Up Er Mei

Okay, I’ve heard what is quite possibly the best example of the absolute stupidity that I’m convinced is genetic on this campus.

A good friend of mine who lives in one of the other dorms on campus reported to me recently that his closet door was stolen. “What?” you say. “Why the hell would anyone steal a closet door?”

That was my exact question. I told him to call Police Services, but after checking with one of my more knowledgeable roommates, changed that advice to calling a Residential Maintenance technician. Oh, and this wasn’t a standard door, either; this was a sliding door from one of the huge walk-in closets we’re provided with. In order to steal one of those, you have to unscrew a small guide in the floor (if you can do so after moving the doors around in a rather haphazard fashion), then completely take the door off its runners. Then you have to be able to leave the room with a very freaking heavy door in your hands.

As it turns out, it wasn’t a burglar, it was another roommate that did this. This is absolute and utter stupidity; not only do they risk exorbitant Facilities charges if they don’t replace it (in the range of about $60-$80 for malicious damage of property), but once the RMs get pissed off during checkout screening, they start noticing every little detail, which ultimately makes damages much more expensive.

I know people on college campuses are supposed to be completely immature, moronic jerkoffs who get drunk and stoned on a nightly basis (though I realize that this is highly stereotypical and very bigoted of me), but come on — you’d think there’d be something better to do at night then steal your own damn closet door for whatever idiot function you happen to be attending (which, around here, it’s usually very loud parties. And let’s make no mistake here — Evergreen was once voted as one of the top schools to get stoned at. No, really.)

I’ll be so glad to get out of here for the summer. I’ll be even happier not living on campus next year.

Update (8:56PM): Apparently, stupidity extends much farther than this campus.

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